Things That Are Funnier Than They Ought to Be, This Week

[lwood]

"So, I want a great big roast that I'm going to dry-age in my refrigerator^*, then sear on all sides and roast to pink perfection. What cut would you recommend for this treatment?"

I am at my local high-end grocery store, what has the real meat counter. It's slow right now, and two meatmongers, call them Alan and Bob, are behind the counter.

Alan: "Oh, well, we like the Sirloin Tip and the Cross-Rib SHoulder. Those have good prices--$4.99/lb--and good size."

They also have bottom round, standing rib, and eye round roasts. The roast is for this weekend's Odin Party, so obviously, I want to have a word about that eye round... "Those eye rounds, how would they do? It doesn't look like it'd be big enough."

Alan: "Oh, those are only three, four pounds."

lwood: "Yeah, I'm going to need about nine pounds, it's a big party."

Alan: "You'd need two eyes, then."

Bob: "I got two eyes."

Alan: "Really? Do they both work?"

Bob: "Oh, yeah. All twenty-twenty over here, man."

I want you all to know it was only by a heroic effort of self-control that I did not break out into inappropriately large gales of laughter that I would then have to explain.

---

Meanwhile, a gent of my acquaintance was discussing Odin with me. As long as we're making up alphabetical names, call him Carl:

Carl: I get the whole - "Luke, turn away from the Dark Side" thing from everyone

lwood: Only because you haven't talked to the scary Odin kids, who of course say, "Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies."

Carl: Except you're not all that scary.

-- Lorrie, Not Scary. Want a cookie?

^* - As done in The Finest Restaurants, this is basically letting your beef sit around in refrigerated air for four days so that, yes, it starts breaking down (OMGs!). While this results in more tender and flavorful meat, this still seems Wrong to some inner hygiene freak of mine, who is going to have a lie-down until Saturday. It's also pretty safe: the outer layer dries up and is sliced off, and the new outer layer gets seared with high heat. Still freaked? Then don't eat it--more for ME.

Comments

[dasubergeek.livejournal.com]

I routinely make sauerbraten and leave it in its marinade in the fridge for the better part of the week.

[faeryl.livejournal.com]

>Only because you haven't talked to the scary Odin kids, who of course say, "Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies."

*busily cleans the remnants of my coffe mug off of the computer screen*

Can I steal that last quote? *Grin*

Have fun at the party. Wish we could make it this year(Dan's *really* feeling the lack of woo over here these days).

[witchchild]

Yessssssss? ;)

[shantak.livejournal.com]

If AB, who is most assuredly a hygiene freak, recommends this method of preparing a roast I see no problem with it. If, of course, one's fridge is cold enough etc. Good job on the whole not laughing out loud thing. I would have been giggling for sure.

-shanta

[keristor.livejournal.com]

Butchers are all mad, or at least getting that way. My favourite was:

Me: Do you have any pork chops with crackling?
Butcher: No, you only get crackling off a pig.
[pause while I think about this]
Me: I didn't want a pork chop from a cow...

Re. 'ageing' meat: It used to be the standard thing in the UK that bovinoid meat (cow, deer, ox) would be 'hung' in a cold basement for a week or more to age, so that the meat starts to break down and gains flavour and self-tenderises. This is now not allowed in the UK for hygeine reasons (because some places aren't clean enough, no one is allowed to do it), but if the place it's done is kept clean there is no problem (in particular, making sure any blood which drips out is cleaned up quickly and not left there and that there are no flies).

[entipy.livejournal.com]

>>>"So, I want a great big roast that I'm going to dry-age in my refrigerator*, then sear on all sides and roast to pink perfection..."<<<

YUM!!!

>>>this is basically letting your beef sit around in refrigerated air for four days so that, yes, it starts breaking down (OMGs!). While this results in more tender and flavorful meat, this still seems Wrong to some inner hygiene freak of mine<<<

Y'know, Alton swears by it! How could it be wrong?

I love Alton.

I love roasted meat.

I am jealous!

[ardgruntler.livejournal.com]

LOL! Now that's a funny story:>) It makes me think back to the fast and furious dodge into Chinatown while reciting part of Havamol with a Door County Wisconsin Dialect. Good times, good times:>)