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An Open Letter to My Family, 1/1: Hi, folks! I'm heathen!
I have to be honest: this letter is not intended for a primarily pagan, or even heathen, audience. It's a frank explanation of my beliefs intended for my actual family as related by blood, who are all Christian in one sense or another. This means I don't, and can't, go into any real depth, and say a few things that are more personally relevant to me than they are to any other heathen.
Anyway, if I've seemed tense, nervous, or anything like over the past three weeks? This letter is one of the reasons why. If I have barked at any of you unnecessarily, I apologise (in the modern colloquial fashion).
Are we disclaimed? Good!
To My Family:
The first thing that I want to say, before anything else, is that I love you all. Nothing will change the bonds that we share through blood and mutual experience, and nothing will change the fact that you are my family. I really hope that, in reading this letter, we can actually begin to heal some of the distance that has grown between us because I haven't felt comfortable speaking about my faith. I hope, too, that in writing the truth, the truth shall set me free to be at ease with you all again.
You should know that this letter is going to all of my closest family members, so you all read it at the same time: Grandma (please share your copy with Rhonda), Tanya, Mom, Dad, Mikey, and Billy. This way, you all know what's going on firsthand, and in my own words. I'll be dropping all of these into the mail at the same time, so they should all arrive within a couple days of each other.
You've all known for awhile that I'm not Roman Catholic, like my mother and her family. I'm not Protestant either, not in any of the ways that my father's family has used as their anchor for generations. If you've thought anything at all, you've probably thought I was an atheist, or at least that's what I've gathered from various conversations we've had through the years.
I've never been an atheist, actually. I've been at worse indecisive about whatever's out there. But, what I am may seem worse to some of you.
I am a pagan, to use a word most of you already know. Paganism is a word used to describe many different religions, usually called "traditions" by the people who practice them. Most of them agree on several broad things, which I'll describe a little better below. While belief in more than one god will probably draw the most attention from you, pagans also tend to agree that there is something of spirit in everything, and that whatever Divine there is, it is, and has, female as well as male qualities.
I have been pagan since I started college in 1992. I had heard a few things about it before graduating from high school, and when I got to college, I had the time, space, and resources to study it better. I decided I was pagan, but in a very general way, just as one can be Christian but not be in any particular church. In 1997, I settled on a particular tradition.
What I practice is known as heathenry, Germanic Reconstructionism, Norse Paganism, Odinism, Asatru, and several other names. Personally, I prefer to use the term "heathen" when describing myself. This isn't how most people use the word, I know: I'm not godless, and I do have a religion! "Heathen" is a old word that originally meant something like what "Gentile" means in the Bible: it meant people who were living "out on the heath," out in the country, and still practicing their old religions while the people in the cities had converted to Christianity. Heathenry, whatever name it uses, focuses on the beliefs and practices of pre-Christian Northern and Western Europe, reconstructing and reinventing them for modern times.
Something that you've all taught me very well, especially you, Grandma, is that faith, and religion, aren't just things to have in church. I find that as hypocritical as you do! Instead, my faith is deeply rooted in my every breath and action, and I try to bring it into all aspects of my life.
Because of this, I am not just a lay member of my local congregation (we call them kindreds). Instead, I take an active leadership role in my kindred and am heeding what in any Christian setting would be a call to ministry. I am an officer and member of the board of directors in the Troth, an international heathen organization. In the past few months, I've met a seminarian, and with him have begun to become active in Interfaith work, where people of many faiths come together to explore and celebrate our similarities while honoring our differences.
But what do I believe? It's hard to get everything into a just a few paragraphs, but I'll do what I can.
I believe that everything has a soul, a spirit, not just humans. This includes animals, plants, rocks--even computers!
I believe that somewhere, past anything we can understand, there is one ultimate Something, some Source. I don't think it's right to call it "God," because that's a word with a lot of baggage attached. Whatever that Source is, it's too big for anyone in their right mind to reasonably address. Humans keep trying, though. They always have, and they always will. When These attempts to address that Infinite Something are, for lack of a better term, often called "gods." Many faiths do this by having many gods, and some try to reach this underlying truth more directly by just having one. I don't think that any of these ways has the whole truth, because it's just too big to be in any one place at once.
I believe that the gods are very active in the world, and that all of them are speaking to all of us all the time. It's like a radio: not all stations are nearby, or come in well, or at equal volume. Some come in better at night, some fade with the storms, but they're all there.
In addition to the spirits of the land and the gods, my ancestors are interested in their descendants' affairs, the dead ones just as much as the live ones. I haven't really lost Na-Na: in their own ways, both my grandmothers are watching over me. My grandfathers too, I suppose, but I never knew them very well, and it's been my experience that the female ancestors usually take a more active interest than the male ones anyway.
I believe that the world is a very, very noisy place, full of symbols that have meaning to anyone who would stop and interpret them.
I believe that no ancestor, spirit, or god is all-knowing, all-good, or all-powerful. Each has his or her own agenda.
I believe that the proper application of symbol and intent can cause things to happen. This may be asking a god to do something on your behalf, this may be to directly influence another person, or several other ways. While we usually call this magic, prayer is just as good a word, because they're the same tools used to the same, usually well-meaning, ends, like the health of a loved one. Prayers meant for someone's good will work to that end: I have always felt blessed to know that you pray for me. In my way, I pray for all of you as well.
I believe in the power of critical thinking! No matter what the purported source of a piece of information, nothing is beyond question, including everything I've written in this letter. As one of my favorite authors once wrote, "Faith and reason are the shoes on your feet. You can travel further with both than you can with just one."
I believe that the search for truth, wisdom, and beauty is honorable and worthy. To me, it's more important than the search for material gain, and usually more fun.
While any action may of itself seem right or wrong, it's also important to look into why someone did what they did. Purely evil--or purely good--acts and people are extremely rare. I'm not saying they don't exist, but I haven't met any yet. Similarly, I don't think that there's any absolute source of good or evil. While Satan exists as much as any power does, I do not acknowledge him as the source of all evil. What this means in human terms is that people are perfectly capable of doing good and bad things without help. However, this is not to say that they do not, in fact, get that help, because like I said, the world is a very noisy place.
It is best to seek out what we call "right relationships" with those around you. This means it is wisest to be polite to other people, including that guy who cut you off on the freeway. The most important bonds, though, are the ones of kinship, both kin of blood (family) and kin of intent (friends). For your friends and family, there should be a couch to sleep on, something hot on the stove, a shoulder to cry on, a ride if they need it, and a twenty to spare 'til payday. Didn't you all teach me that if I fly in and happen to be only four hours' drive from someone, I'd better turn up and say hi? For a community to be healthy, these gifts should be roughly equal between a community's able, adult members, although they don't have to be exactly in kind.
This doesn't end with human beings. It's just as important to strive for that "right relationship" with the other members of one's community as well: pets, food animals, general spirits in your neighborhood, family both alive and dead, and gods. When I sit down, and someone says grace, I always put in a word for the animals and plants that gave their lives for the food on the table and the gods who made those animals available to me, although I usually do it within the silence of my heart so as not to offend anyone.
One of our few prayers that has fixed words says, "Hail, holy Earth Who givest to all." The idea of "right relationship" extends to her, too, and to a concept of earth held in trust and stewardship rather than exploitation.
I believe in free will. I also believe in fate. Neither of these are absolutes, and neither are either completely in or out of my hands. Some things in life that happen to you are ones you can choose, and some aren't, but you can always choose of how to face it, and it's how you meet what happens that determines who you are to yourself and to others.
As the gods that are closest to my heart are those honored in pre-Christian Northern and Western Europe, and as the relationships I've established are those of friendship and kinship, it is only logical to want to know my friends better by learning about them. That means that it's useful to study archaeological findings, writings of the period, and anything else that's relevant.
As a side note, the pretty clothes most of you have seen are appropriate to wear in the SCA, and I have worn them to SCA events. Period clothes are in no way necessary for heathenry, but I like dressing up!
While this is a faith that many practice as a celebration of their European heritage, it is also important to recognize that cultural inheritance is also a strong influence, if not stronger. Therefore, I will question no person's right to practice this faith, or worship these gods, based on their heritage or skin color.
There are lists of virtues that many heathens hold in high esteem. These are modern inventions, rather deliberately patterned on the Commandments, although they're nowhere near as universally agreed on, nor do they limit behavior nearly as much. They're nice enough if one is looking for small, capsule definitions, although I would much prefer to explain things in more detail. One such list, a reasonable one, is this one:
I believe that the Bible is a beautiful piece of literature. I believe that the Eddas, a set of poems preserved in Iceland that describe the Norse mythos, are a beautiful piece of literature. In fact, I believe that of every religion's central writings.
I believe, and respect, the right of all other people to seek their own path to their spiritual goals, as long as that search, and its practice, do not actively seek to exclude me and my practice.
I believe that my gods and the other assorted spirits would like some of whatever I'm having. To that end, I am happy to share my food and drink with that invisible throng. If I have the money, I will share something that they are especially fond of that I have bought especially for the occasion.
I believe in Odin, the All-Father, who hung nine days and nights upon his Tree, pierced with a spear, to win wisdom, and when he seized that wisdom, he shared it. I believe that he wanders the worlds still, because the search for wisdom never ends. His whisper is on every wind, his best gift to humanity the breath he gave at their creation to stir them to wakefulness.
I believe in Frigga, to whose steady center Odin is wise enough to return to, for there is wisdom in staying still as there is in wandering. I believe that she knows his every indiscretion, which are beyond counting, and will forgive him as long as he comes back to her -- and, until the end of the worlds, he will.
I believe in Thor, whose hammer is ever ready to protect those who call on him for aid, and it can be seen when the lightning courses across the sky and heard when the thunder rolls.
I believe in Freyr and Freyja, who between them encourage fields to bear, animals to bear, love to blossom, and prosperity to flourish.
I believe in Tyr, Heimdall, Hella, Skadi, and all the rest of the Aesir and Vanir, the gods that were held holy by the Germanic peoples.
I believe in everyone else's gods, too. Including yours.
I believe that all stories are true, in some sense... including the ones we make by living them, and sometimes those are the most incredible of all.
I believe in love. I love each and every one of you, and I would not stop loving you even if you stopped speaking to me because of what you've read here. If that happened, I would be very sad, but I would hope that, in the fullness of time, you would gain the perspective to accept me once more as your granddaughter, daughter, niece, sister -- as your family, the way I have, and will, accept you.
I love you, and because I love you, I will not lie to you with silence any more. Grandma, once you told me about when you were saved, when you were a girl in Missouri... inside, I wept, because I could not tell you that I knew the light in your eyes when you spoke of that was just like the one that had flowered in my own heart. I didn't tell you all for so long in part because I thought it would break your heart, Grandma, and the last thing I want is to cause any of you pain.
Because I love you, I would be delighted to answer any questions you have about this letter, as long as they are meant to further understanding.
Because I love you, I will not speak of this again to any of you until and unless you mention it to me. I want to build bridges, not drive wedges!
I know that you will pray for me, and I welcome that. I will pray for you, as well.
In love, peace, and honesty,
[signature]
Lorrie
PS: I'm pretty sure that at least one of you doesn't have my most current contact information. Here it is!
[address deleted]
I fervently hope and pray that they'll be willing to talk with me, not at me, when they're done with this.
-- Lorrie
Anyway, if I've seemed tense, nervous, or anything like over the past three weeks? This letter is one of the reasons why. If I have barked at any of you unnecessarily, I apologise (in the modern colloquial fashion).
Are we disclaimed? Good!
To My Family:
The first thing that I want to say, before anything else, is that I love you all. Nothing will change the bonds that we share through blood and mutual experience, and nothing will change the fact that you are my family. I really hope that, in reading this letter, we can actually begin to heal some of the distance that has grown between us because I haven't felt comfortable speaking about my faith. I hope, too, that in writing the truth, the truth shall set me free to be at ease with you all again.
You should know that this letter is going to all of my closest family members, so you all read it at the same time: Grandma (please share your copy with Rhonda), Tanya, Mom, Dad, Mikey, and Billy. This way, you all know what's going on firsthand, and in my own words. I'll be dropping all of these into the mail at the same time, so they should all arrive within a couple days of each other.
You've all known for awhile that I'm not Roman Catholic, like my mother and her family. I'm not Protestant either, not in any of the ways that my father's family has used as their anchor for generations. If you've thought anything at all, you've probably thought I was an atheist, or at least that's what I've gathered from various conversations we've had through the years.
I've never been an atheist, actually. I've been at worse indecisive about whatever's out there. But, what I am may seem worse to some of you.
I am a pagan, to use a word most of you already know. Paganism is a word used to describe many different religions, usually called "traditions" by the people who practice them. Most of them agree on several broad things, which I'll describe a little better below. While belief in more than one god will probably draw the most attention from you, pagans also tend to agree that there is something of spirit in everything, and that whatever Divine there is, it is, and has, female as well as male qualities.
I have been pagan since I started college in 1992. I had heard a few things about it before graduating from high school, and when I got to college, I had the time, space, and resources to study it better. I decided I was pagan, but in a very general way, just as one can be Christian but not be in any particular church. In 1997, I settled on a particular tradition.
What I practice is known as heathenry, Germanic Reconstructionism, Norse Paganism, Odinism, Asatru, and several other names. Personally, I prefer to use the term "heathen" when describing myself. This isn't how most people use the word, I know: I'm not godless, and I do have a religion! "Heathen" is a old word that originally meant something like what "Gentile" means in the Bible: it meant people who were living "out on the heath," out in the country, and still practicing their old religions while the people in the cities had converted to Christianity. Heathenry, whatever name it uses, focuses on the beliefs and practices of pre-Christian Northern and Western Europe, reconstructing and reinventing them for modern times.
Something that you've all taught me very well, especially you, Grandma, is that faith, and religion, aren't just things to have in church. I find that as hypocritical as you do! Instead, my faith is deeply rooted in my every breath and action, and I try to bring it into all aspects of my life.
Because of this, I am not just a lay member of my local congregation (we call them kindreds). Instead, I take an active leadership role in my kindred and am heeding what in any Christian setting would be a call to ministry. I am an officer and member of the board of directors in the Troth, an international heathen organization. In the past few months, I've met a seminarian, and with him have begun to become active in Interfaith work, where people of many faiths come together to explore and celebrate our similarities while honoring our differences.
But what do I believe? It's hard to get everything into a just a few paragraphs, but I'll do what I can.
I believe that everything has a soul, a spirit, not just humans. This includes animals, plants, rocks--even computers!
I believe that somewhere, past anything we can understand, there is one ultimate Something, some Source. I don't think it's right to call it "God," because that's a word with a lot of baggage attached. Whatever that Source is, it's too big for anyone in their right mind to reasonably address. Humans keep trying, though. They always have, and they always will. When These attempts to address that Infinite Something are, for lack of a better term, often called "gods." Many faiths do this by having many gods, and some try to reach this underlying truth more directly by just having one. I don't think that any of these ways has the whole truth, because it's just too big to be in any one place at once.
I believe that the gods are very active in the world, and that all of them are speaking to all of us all the time. It's like a radio: not all stations are nearby, or come in well, or at equal volume. Some come in better at night, some fade with the storms, but they're all there.
In addition to the spirits of the land and the gods, my ancestors are interested in their descendants' affairs, the dead ones just as much as the live ones. I haven't really lost Na-Na: in their own ways, both my grandmothers are watching over me. My grandfathers too, I suppose, but I never knew them very well, and it's been my experience that the female ancestors usually take a more active interest than the male ones anyway.
I believe that the world is a very, very noisy place, full of symbols that have meaning to anyone who would stop and interpret them.
I believe that no ancestor, spirit, or god is all-knowing, all-good, or all-powerful. Each has his or her own agenda.
I believe that the proper application of symbol and intent can cause things to happen. This may be asking a god to do something on your behalf, this may be to directly influence another person, or several other ways. While we usually call this magic, prayer is just as good a word, because they're the same tools used to the same, usually well-meaning, ends, like the health of a loved one. Prayers meant for someone's good will work to that end: I have always felt blessed to know that you pray for me. In my way, I pray for all of you as well.
I believe in the power of critical thinking! No matter what the purported source of a piece of information, nothing is beyond question, including everything I've written in this letter. As one of my favorite authors once wrote, "Faith and reason are the shoes on your feet. You can travel further with both than you can with just one."
I believe that the search for truth, wisdom, and beauty is honorable and worthy. To me, it's more important than the search for material gain, and usually more fun.
While any action may of itself seem right or wrong, it's also important to look into why someone did what they did. Purely evil--or purely good--acts and people are extremely rare. I'm not saying they don't exist, but I haven't met any yet. Similarly, I don't think that there's any absolute source of good or evil. While Satan exists as much as any power does, I do not acknowledge him as the source of all evil. What this means in human terms is that people are perfectly capable of doing good and bad things without help. However, this is not to say that they do not, in fact, get that help, because like I said, the world is a very noisy place.
It is best to seek out what we call "right relationships" with those around you. This means it is wisest to be polite to other people, including that guy who cut you off on the freeway. The most important bonds, though, are the ones of kinship, both kin of blood (family) and kin of intent (friends). For your friends and family, there should be a couch to sleep on, something hot on the stove, a shoulder to cry on, a ride if they need it, and a twenty to spare 'til payday. Didn't you all teach me that if I fly in and happen to be only four hours' drive from someone, I'd better turn up and say hi? For a community to be healthy, these gifts should be roughly equal between a community's able, adult members, although they don't have to be exactly in kind.
This doesn't end with human beings. It's just as important to strive for that "right relationship" with the other members of one's community as well: pets, food animals, general spirits in your neighborhood, family both alive and dead, and gods. When I sit down, and someone says grace, I always put in a word for the animals and plants that gave their lives for the food on the table and the gods who made those animals available to me, although I usually do it within the silence of my heart so as not to offend anyone.
One of our few prayers that has fixed words says, "Hail, holy Earth Who givest to all." The idea of "right relationship" extends to her, too, and to a concept of earth held in trust and stewardship rather than exploitation.
I believe in free will. I also believe in fate. Neither of these are absolutes, and neither are either completely in or out of my hands. Some things in life that happen to you are ones you can choose, and some aren't, but you can always choose of how to face it, and it's how you meet what happens that determines who you are to yourself and to others.
As the gods that are closest to my heart are those honored in pre-Christian Northern and Western Europe, and as the relationships I've established are those of friendship and kinship, it is only logical to want to know my friends better by learning about them. That means that it's useful to study archaeological findings, writings of the period, and anything else that's relevant.
As a side note, the pretty clothes most of you have seen are appropriate to wear in the SCA, and I have worn them to SCA events. Period clothes are in no way necessary for heathenry, but I like dressing up!
While this is a faith that many practice as a celebration of their European heritage, it is also important to recognize that cultural inheritance is also a strong influence, if not stronger. Therefore, I will question no person's right to practice this faith, or worship these gods, based on their heritage or skin color.
There are lists of virtues that many heathens hold in high esteem. These are modern inventions, rather deliberately patterned on the Commandments, although they're nowhere near as universally agreed on, nor do they limit behavior nearly as much. They're nice enough if one is looking for small, capsule definitions, although I would much prefer to explain things in more detail. One such list, a reasonable one, is this one:
| Boldness | Truth | Honor | Troth |
| Self-Rule | Hospitality | Industry | Self-Reliance |
| Steadfastness | Equality | Strength | Wisdom |
| Generosity | Family Responsibility | ||
I believe that the Bible is a beautiful piece of literature. I believe that the Eddas, a set of poems preserved in Iceland that describe the Norse mythos, are a beautiful piece of literature. In fact, I believe that of every religion's central writings.
I believe, and respect, the right of all other people to seek their own path to their spiritual goals, as long as that search, and its practice, do not actively seek to exclude me and my practice.
I believe that my gods and the other assorted spirits would like some of whatever I'm having. To that end, I am happy to share my food and drink with that invisible throng. If I have the money, I will share something that they are especially fond of that I have bought especially for the occasion.
I believe in Odin, the All-Father, who hung nine days and nights upon his Tree, pierced with a spear, to win wisdom, and when he seized that wisdom, he shared it. I believe that he wanders the worlds still, because the search for wisdom never ends. His whisper is on every wind, his best gift to humanity the breath he gave at their creation to stir them to wakefulness.
I believe in Frigga, to whose steady center Odin is wise enough to return to, for there is wisdom in staying still as there is in wandering. I believe that she knows his every indiscretion, which are beyond counting, and will forgive him as long as he comes back to her -- and, until the end of the worlds, he will.
I believe in Thor, whose hammer is ever ready to protect those who call on him for aid, and it can be seen when the lightning courses across the sky and heard when the thunder rolls.
I believe in Freyr and Freyja, who between them encourage fields to bear, animals to bear, love to blossom, and prosperity to flourish.
I believe in Tyr, Heimdall, Hella, Skadi, and all the rest of the Aesir and Vanir, the gods that were held holy by the Germanic peoples.
I believe in everyone else's gods, too. Including yours.
I believe that all stories are true, in some sense... including the ones we make by living them, and sometimes those are the most incredible of all.
I believe in love. I love each and every one of you, and I would not stop loving you even if you stopped speaking to me because of what you've read here. If that happened, I would be very sad, but I would hope that, in the fullness of time, you would gain the perspective to accept me once more as your granddaughter, daughter, niece, sister -- as your family, the way I have, and will, accept you.
I love you, and because I love you, I will not lie to you with silence any more. Grandma, once you told me about when you were saved, when you were a girl in Missouri... inside, I wept, because I could not tell you that I knew the light in your eyes when you spoke of that was just like the one that had flowered in my own heart. I didn't tell you all for so long in part because I thought it would break your heart, Grandma, and the last thing I want is to cause any of you pain.
Because I love you, I would be delighted to answer any questions you have about this letter, as long as they are meant to further understanding.
Because I love you, I will not speak of this again to any of you until and unless you mention it to me. I want to build bridges, not drive wedges!
I know that you will pray for me, and I welcome that. I will pray for you, as well.
In love, peace, and honesty,
[signature]
Lorrie
PS: I'm pretty sure that at least one of you doesn't have my most current contact information. Here it is!
[address deleted]
I fervently hope and pray that they'll be willing to talk with me, not at me, when they're done with this.
-- Lorrie
no subject
That's syncretism, the boogeyman in many heathen closets, and never mind that most of them practice it on a small scale themselves.
Anyhoo, it strikes me as only polite to recognize the Folks from other cultures, and honor them appropriately in spaces given to them. I'm not Theirs, but I believe that it'd be a disservice to my gods, especially my favourite, not to take a look around every once in awhile, you know?
The ancient perspective on "gods they didn't already have" seems to have been, "oh! Cool! What does he do?" You might adopt that god into your own personal pantheon, or tack his traits onto someone from your own. Until Christianity started getting organized and becoming a requirement to enter the common market, this was even true of Jesus.
Syncretism is nothing new.
-- Lorrie