lwood

Friends, sign up with the Spiral Clergy Program today, and in just a few short years, you, too, can be an Emergency Clerical Hologram aboard any ship in Starfleet^†.

Can't you imagine it? I can see the script now--thanks,

mephron, for the punchline...

SCENE 09 - INT ENTERPRISE HOLOCHAPEL

SOME CREWMAN enters the HOLOCHAPEL, which is currently configured as a quiet countryside Anglican church. A proper English garden is clamoring towards the windows, and someone's upholstered the pews.

As the door grinds shut behind CREWMAN, the EMERGENCY CLERICAL HOLOGRAM snaps to life in the nave with them, out of sight but not out of frame.
EMERGENCY CLERICAL HOLOGRAM (ECH)

"Greetings! I am the Emergency Clerical Hologram! Please state the nature of the ecclesiatic emergency."

CREWMAN just stares, then:
CREWMAN (stammering)

B-but I'm a Druid?

ECH

Funny, you don't look Druish.

*beat*

Just a moment..

CHAPEL is whisked away, replaced by STONE CIRCLE wherein we see a TREE, a birdbath full of fire (FIRE WELL), and another birdbath obviously filled with water and lit from below (SEA WELL).

CREWMAN (whimper)

No, not ADF!

ECH sighs heavily.

-- Lorrie has perhaps one too many of the jms Babylon 5 script books.

^† - Yes, yes: if Goddenbery hadn't been a dork about "in the future, there is no religion". Work with me, here!